


Atheist Thoughts

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Atheism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 04:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10868922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/





	Atheist Thoughts

_Atheism._

Sometimes it’s like it’s a dirty word.

‘I’m an _atheist_.’

When I write atheist, I don’t mean ‘anti-religious’.

I don’t mean ‘I hate religious people’. I don’t.

If  I meant that, I would have written that.

But I didn’t.

Just wanted to clear that up.

 

I want someone to talk to.

I want a culture I don’t have to read, secretly in plain sight, in a book.

I want friends who don’t say ‘atheist’ and mean:

_My mom’s a Christian, and I’m a rebel._

They don’t all mean that. Sometimes they mean what they say.

But not always.

 

I want a club at school where I can speak freely about what I’m not.

Religious.

I want a club where I don’t go to explain why I sit down every time we have to say the Pledge of Allegiance because of two words:

“Under God”.

I’m sorry, but I’m not under anything.

Actually, I’m not sorry at all. It doesn’t work like that.

 

I’m a little jealous of the little things religion gives:

Traditions.

Festivals.

Holidays. (“ _Holy_ ”-days.)

But I’m not green enough to change what I’ve got.

 

I can’t travel, did you know?

In nearly every country in the world, atheists lack rights.

Revealing yourself means jail time, fines, days and days of whippings.

I’ll never leave my country, and even then I’m scared for myself, my life.

 

( _Every time someone says, “I don’t believe-” I want to shout._

_Because don’t they know the risk of revealing themself like that?_

_Don’t they understand that atheists are still being burned at the stake?_

_We’re heretics, perpetrators of apostasy and blasphemy, but._

_We just want to be free? We just want to be safe?_ )

 

Being atheist doesn’t mean I hate the religious.

I think it’s good that they’ve found something that fits, that works.

Peace of mind and comfort when things are turbulous are important.

Just.

I’ve got my _own_ ways of staying centered and focussed.

 

My dad says we have to be polite to people.

Be polite. Always say please and thank you. Smile at someone who’s frowning.

Basic human decency. It’s the only doctrine I’ve got.

He tells me stories about people like us,

How it’s dangerous to be by yourself anywhere on this earth.

There is no safe zone for people like us.

...I’m so sick of being paranoid.

Of fearing for my life in busy streets and hallways.

 

My mom doesn’t talk about it.

Her parents are Christian, and we love them.

So nobody says anything.

We go to their church for Christmas service because it makes them happy.

(Last year, my younger brother slept through it. I was too old.)

She doesn’t tell her friends.

She calls it the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

That’s not what I want.

(It sounds too lonely.)

 

Sure, being part of LGBT is good for me.

It’s calming, knowing someone out there understands at least a little bit.

But they talk about not being accepted by their parents, their churches.

Atheists have no reason to disagree with LGBT.

We don’t have a god to tell us it’s wrong.

People look happy enough.

We try not to judge people for stuff that can’t be changed.

Doesn’t mean I understand the rejection.

If I like to water my garden on Thursdays but traditionally they’re watered on Mondays, does that make either way wrong?

Not in my view.

 

My school has a Christian Fellowship and a Muslim club.

We have a GSA and a HOPE club.

We have a club that does volunteering for charities and local organizations.

Know what we don’t have?

An atheism club.

And it sucks.

 

I used to think I was alone.

People scared me.

They thought funny things I didn’t understand.

But now I understand.

I’ve met others like me at school.

Surprisingly, we’re more common than you’d think.

We’re just good at hiding from everyone, each other included.

We’ve had loads of practice.


End file.
